River fun

Well I spent last weekend rafting on the French Broad river in Hot Springs with a friend and hiking along the Green River with a group of work people. It is wonderful to live near so much water, however we are experiencing low water levels like many places in the South right now. Life is steady, but busy with summer fun...hope all is well.

A Beautiful Hike

Here's a picture of the kiddos hiking in the amazingly beautiful Rawah Wilderness.

Good news for the weary

I received a call this morning at 5 am from Maxim (the staffing agency).  They said that the VA didn't need me today.  

Someone's looking out for me.

Insomnia

So I am supposed to go work at the VA hospital (in the nursing home there) in 4 hours.  I cannot sleep for the life of me.  I was soo tired and couldn't get Aidan to bed until 11 and then I was wide awake, having major anxiety.  I can't do this CNA stuff.  It is just not my thing.  I am trying to reason with myself in not going because I feel so guilty for not providing for my family but then if I quit I feel guilty leaving a job without notice.   But isn't better to get trained in something instead of being thrown to the wolves.  That's what this is like.  No one is training me, I am supposed to know what I am doing but because I have never technically worked in this setting, I don't know.  But then I feel so bad not making money and having all that stress fall on Christian who isn't making enough money to support a family of 5.  I hope something will pan out.  I am supposed to hear from Denver Health this week.  Everyone keep their fingers crossed for me.  I really need that job.  (For those who don't know, I am trying to get a position there as a clerk.  It would give me a leg in when I become a nurse).

Aidan was so adorable but frustrating tonight.  He refused to go to sleep.  I had him lie in bed with me to see if it would help.  I was getting angry so he started yelling at me or telling me how things are.  I sniffled (my nose if very stuffed up) and he said, "Mama, are you sad?"  I went with it and said yes, I was sad because he doesn't listen to me.  He jumped in my arms and started crying and said that he didn't want me to be sad.  It was so sweet.  However, a few minutes later he said he didn't want me to be sad and he didn't want me to die like Papa Ed. For some reason he is struggling with Dad's death.  He has been talking about it all day.  I think he is at that age of questioning.

Wish me luck - on quitting a job, getting a job, and sleeping.

Hope all is well with everyone.

No More Red

For those of us with facial skin problems (e.g., rosacea), I have found a great product that smooths my complexion and makes my redness disappear. It is brush-on mineral foundation powder. One morning my face was especially red from showering, but after I brushed on the powder, I couldn't see any redness. I believe this type of foundation powder is found in many brands - I have been using the N.Y.C. brand found at Target, which has SPF 12 sun protection in it. [It's funny how I used to ignore my skin but HAD to wear mascara. Now I pay attention to my skin but don't wear mascara (due to my lasik eye surgery).]

Thanks from Jill

Thanks for coming to my art opening last night! I really loved having everyone there--it is a rare thing in my world to get to invite family to my things. It was fun for me and I really appreciated it!

Last night I had a dream the school burned down and a bunch of the staff and students were in it when it caught fire. I was able to get all of my artwork out (just barely). Must mean something good, right? I walked through flames to get out, but I made it with everything intact. (Ivan and Teddy were also there, standing above me on a balcony. Ivan seemed to be on fire but wasn't burning.) I woke up a little disoriented.

It will take some time to sort things out, but I have applied to schools in Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and New York City, and hope to have news soon. I'll keep you posted.